Parenting practices across the world share three significant goals: guaranteeing children’s wellbeing and safety, getting children ready for life challenges as productive grown-ups, and transmitting social values. A great parent-kid relationship is basic for healthy development.
From encouraging to study and participate in sports to imparting values as the child grows, parents exert a gigantic impact on their children’s lives. However, they are not the only on-the-ground influencers—particularly after children begin school and start interacting with the outside world.
To parent adequately or practice “good parenting”, as parents, it is not enough to just dodge the conspicuous dangers like abuse, neglect, or overindulgence. Various studies propose that the best-balanced children are raised by parents who figure out how to consolidate warmth and sensitivity with clear social desires.
Not every parenting style is in the kid’s best interest. There exists a thing called ‘overparenting’, which exerts the power to cripple a child as he or she moves into adulthood. Overparenting limits the child and does not allow him or her to cope with the merest mishaps.
Two notable instances of overparenting styles include “helicopter parenting” in which children are unreasonably monitored and kept out of harm’s way, and “snowplow parenting” in which potential impediments are expelled from a child’s way. Both can contrarily affect a child’s later independence, mental health, and self-esteem.
Obviously, there is also such a thing called “too-little parenting”, and research shows that the absence of parental commitment prompts poor conduct outcomes in children. This might be, to some degree, since it urges the children to be excessively dependent on peer culture. Ironically, excessively brutal or dictator styles of parenting can have a similar impact.
Eventually, parents ought to endeavor to be loving but firm, while allowing children enough space to build up their own interests, explore freedom, and experience failures.
The Harms Of Bad Parenting
In America, today, we face a parenting crisis. All around it is observed that parents are sending wildly mixed messages to their children. The harms of bad parenting are not at all healthy for children. In fact, bouncing between extremes is creating a generation of stressed-out children. By adolescence, nearly 30 percent of our teens will have received a diagnosis of anxiety disorder; 8 percent will be diagnosed with severe anxiety; the median age of onset- 6. The possible harms of bad parenting can be:
Bad Parenting can prompt serious neglect for the affected children. If parents do not care much about their children or do not spend enough time with them, chances are that children will not feel valuable from within.
Besides, if they are not upheld by their own parents with respect to significant tasks like even schoolwork and different things that children need to deal with, odds are that because of negligence, the children may experience the ill effects of extra problems.
- Antisocial Behavior
When a child exhibits anti-social behavior, he or she does not consider how his or her actions may harm others. As indicated by the UK’s Department for Education, serious types of antisocial conduct can lead to drug and liquor abuse, bad health, mental health issues, and adult crime.
- Mental Health Issues
Due to bad parenting styles, children may experience some serious mental issues, like, depression. Since children have not built up a steady character yet, they are very helpless with regard to neglect or other consequences of the absence of good parenting.
Thus, these children may develop mental health problems, since they feel lost due to lack of parental support, especially if they have additional issues at school or other parts of their day to day life.
Any child who is never allowed to make decisions, and who is continually criticized, belittled, and who experiences abuse is probably going to have low confidence. It turns out to be more terrible when the child goes through sexual abuse. This can contribute to what we call “childhood trauma”. Such types of abuse are additionally known to make kids progressively inclined to violent practices. Kids who are exposed to abuse and violence are probably going to become brutal people. They grow up accepting that violence is the best way to unravel issues.
- Drug Use
Another problem with bad parenting is that it builds the chances for the use of specific substances for their children. If children feel disregarded and not valuable, they may spend time with companions rather than their parents for a major fraction of their whole childhood.
And if these companions indulge in drugs, it is highly possible that because of peer pressure, other children may follow a similar path. Thus, this may lead to drug addiction from an early age, which will make it very difficult for those children to become clean. Therefore, the absence of good parenting practices call for such problems.
What is Trauma?
Childhood Trauma is an emotional reaction to an intense event that undermines or causes harm. The harm can be physical or emotional, real or perceived, and it can threaten the child or someone close to him or her.
Childhood Traumas can be the result of a single event, or it can result from exposure to multiple events over time.
Potential Traumatic Experiences may include:
- Abuse (physical, sexual, or emotional)
- Effects of poverty (such as homelessness or not having enough to eat)
- Being separated from loved ones
- Witnessing harm to a loved one or pet (e.g., domestic or community violence)
- Natural disasters or accidents
- Unpredictable parental behavior due to addiction or mental illness
Even though childhood trauma can have serious and lasting impacts, there is still hope. With the help of supportive, caring parents, and good parenting children can and do recover.
How To Be A Good Parent?
- Give Them Unconditional Love
Good Parenting involves expressing to your children that you love them for who they are and not what they do is intensely critical to their self-esteem. It necessitates that you separate the child from his or her conduct. For instance, little children frequently, cry, frown, strikeout, and sulk when they are tired, awkward, disappointed, hungry, or exhausted. In those moments, they are not very easy to be around, but this is the best to show them that you love them. If they are old enough to understand, clarify that their conduct makes you unhappy or mad, however, regardless of how gravely they act, above everything, you still love them.
Psychologists concur that it is difficult to spoil or overindulge a baby, so accept each open door to hold and touch them. Physical touch is important.
- Be The Safe Place For Your Child
Tell your children and let them know that you will be always there for them. Respond to your child’s signals and sensitive needs. Support and acknowledge your child as a person. Be a warm, safe place for your children to explore.
Kids raised by parents who are reliably responsive will, in general, have better emotional development, social development, and mental health outcomes.
- Do Not Hit, No Matter What
No doubt, sometimes to some parents, hitting the child can bring short-term compliance which is necessary relief for the parents. But, good parenting does not involve violence at all.
This technique does not teach the child right from wrong It just shows the child to fear external outcomes. The child is then motivated to abstain from getting caught instead.
Beating your child is displaying to your child that he or she can resolve issues by violence.
Children who are hit, smacked, or spanked are increasingly inclined to fighting with other children. They are bound to become menaces and to use verbal and physical aggression to settle disputes. Sometime later in life, they are more likely to result in wrongdoing and introverted behavior, worse parent-child relationships, mental health issues, domestic violence, and childhood trauma.
- Take Care of Yourself
Parents need relief too. Focus on your own prosperity too.
Quite often things such as your own wellbeing or the health of your marriage are kept as a second thought when a child is born. If you do not pay attention to such matters, they will lead to bigger issues down the road. Set aside some effort to strengthen your relationship with your mate.
Try not to be reluctant to request good parenting assistance. Having some “me time” for self-care is imperative to restore the brain. How parents deal with themselves physically and mentally will have a major effect on their parenting. If you fail to maintain these two areas, your child may suffer too.
Raising children is the most difficult yet the most rewarding task a human can do. As Joyce Maynard stated, “It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we are concerned with what children do with their lives, they are watching us see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.”
Regardless of any differences in gender, ethnicity, age, or nationality, we share one thing in common – we want the best for our children.